I think I've wanted to express my grief over the loss of Chas, knowing it would be therapeudic and a way to share how much he really did mean to me and to my family, but doing so just makes it so final. So real. It's easier living in the shock and immediate sadness than the long term. But, here it is another Sunday morning, and I find myself grieving all over again. Loss is hard. Yesterday was the first time that it hit Hudson. Of course we sat the kids down and talked to them about it, but Hudson is just 2. Jeremy was watching some PBS special on guitarists and it showed a bass player. Hudson said, "Daddy, where is Chas?" I had been waiting on this question on a Sunday or Saturday. Jeremy explain that Chas was with God. Hudson asked, "When he gonna come back?" Jeremy explained that he wasn't, but one day we would see him again, in heaven. Hudson hugged Jeremy really tightly and said, "I'm sad, Daddy. I love Chas."
Later I was giving Eric a hard time about the candy machine that's STILL in my garage, a year after he and Chas purchased it to make some money. In a way I want it out, but, then again, it's just a part of Chas and Eric that remains in my garage and I see multiple times a day. Silly, huh?
