Rodeo!

We had amazing seats to the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo. Really - we parked about 20 feet from the entry, and about 20 feet from that were our seats. We could have pet the animal in the ring (if we wanted to lose an arm!). AMAZINGly generous gift from the Simmons' - thank you!

Hudson's checking out the situation. Yeah, he's a little blurry, but it was too cute

Miss Jenna needed her jacket, so she's not happy, yet. Daddy went to get her jacket, though, and it was all better! Then, Daddy took her on a trip to the concessions...and, you can tell it's ALL wonderful! And, she ate the WHOLE cotton candy alone (Miles & I had a little, but not enough to count)!

In awe of it all...



And this, this is after we left. As you can see, nothing earth shattering or life threatening - just a little uncomfortable. And, Jenna's not crying, just allergies. They each had a dose of Benedryl, and all was well in the world (they fell asleep on the way home).

The moral of the story: next time we go to the rodeo - ask the doctor for a couple of days of steroids so we all live it up! We still had a good time despite the poor parental planning, and Hudson wants to know when we're going back!

Ice Day

I can't tell you how excited I was last night at 8:00pm when the ice started falling so heavily. Jeremy and I were watching a movie in the living room with the space heaters blasting; the kids were in their rooms watching movies. I believe I jumped up and down with excitement, really. I was so desperately hoping for a delayed start to today. My last check of the GISD website indicated no delay, so I carefully put my cell phone by my bed for "the call." Sure enough, in the 5:00am hour, I got the text that school was delayed. Then, a little later the home phone rang with the automated call of delay. It was sooooo nice to snuggle down under the covers and go back to sleep! Then, sometime later, the home phone rang with the second automated call of cancellation. I have to admit I'm a little bummed about an all day cancellation because now we have to make it up, but I was excited to have a WHOLE day with no commitments!

So, what did the White family do?

Well, first H came and got in bed with us around 7:15. He had a coughing fit, and then settled in. Next thing I remember is he was tapping me. I was very annoyed as I was in that state where you're just about to drift off to sleep, so I said, "Will you please stop?" He said, "I'm gonna throw up." I sprinted to the kitchen to get a bowl. Sure enough, just as I returned with the bowl, he did. He's accurate in that way. If he says he's gonna, he IS gonna. Then Jenna came to bed. Jer got up with them, and I stayed. At 8:45 I woke to the smell of breakfast cooking. My man made me an egg and diced potatoes. Mmmm.

So, we had some family fun - the kids ran around outside a little, Jer and I did our quiet times and read, the kids watched cartoons, built houses on the couch with cushions, played Webkinz, and typed. Then, we reached that moment. You know the one - "Mom, how do you spell 'mommy." So you tell them, and then a second later, "Is this it?" "Yes." This is repeated for many other words. You watch your daughter come through in roller skates, go backward and fall, and then she wants to give you the verbal play by play of what happened, complete with what she was thinking at each moment and it has a lot of filler words such as "like," "and then," and "isn't that funny?" but you just witnessed the whole thing, so it's painful. I guess you say we began to get on one another's nerves. The funniest moment was when H poked Jenna, just a little poke, and she started chasing him. In our house there is a circle, and it was so comical to see Jenna chase Hudson in two perfect circles. It caught Jer and I so off guard we stood with our mouths open, not really knowing what to do or say. Then, we laughed.

Next, Mom and Dad reached the end of their wits, and this is what you saw:

Both kids were sent to their rooms for some time to play in their rooms.

Even Howdy & Maggie got a break: this is in the garage (yes, there is a book shelf in the garage). They had the hook up with a heat lamp & blankets.

We had a great soup lunch, nap, and then the child I can't convince to go play outside when it's gorgeous because she wants to watch TV, gets bundled up and heads outside. She's her father's child - loves the ice/snow. I wanted to take some pictures, but this wasn't even a pretty ice...and it was SO cold!

Overall, we had a terrific day! I think God knew how badly we all needed the time off and time to rest.

The Joy of Surrender

Step of faith:

http://thejoyofsurrender.blogspot.com/

Thank & Changes Ahead

Thank you for your encouraging comments and emails that have let me know that God has used me to touch your heart, challenge, and/or encourage you. Jeremy and I have talked, and we think God might be using my blogging for more than my "therapy." So, in the coming weeks I'll be starting a separate blog for my "deep" thoughts, keep this for a family blog with fun family stories & kid pictures, and one for photography stuff.

Photography Blog: http://mistiwhitephotography.blogspot.com/ (but nothing is there, yet)

I need some good name ideas for the other one. I've tried to be alliterative (it's the English teacher in me). Misti's Meanderings (sounds like I'm lost); Misti's Musings (sounds too lighthearted and not serious) - ideas?

Humility Brings You Closer to God

Jeremy and I have decided to purchase the car. I find it no coincidence that what was asked for the car was almost exactly what what we had in savings and excess checking. Of course, our savings is a money market, so the funds aren't readily available. It will take probably until the end of the month for the funds to be available, and I figure this is another one of God's plans to teach me something, like, maybe, patience? He knows I need a good dose of that!

I do have to rejoice and share a moment of what I feel is successful parenting in the middle of this story. On our way to look at the car last week, we were talking to the kids about what we were doing. "We're going to go and look at a car to buy." Hudson's immediate response was, "Dad, we don't need a new car. This one is perfectly fine, and, besides, cars cost a lot of money. We should save our money." At this point I felt my heart swell, and I thought to myself, 'We've taught him so well.' Jenna quickly responded, "Wait a minute, Hudson. This new car might have an air conditioner that works!" HA! If you're not familiar, the Protege's air conditioner is somewhat unstable - okay, it hasn't really worked the last two summers. There is a freon leak, so it doesn't cool well unless we've just had a charge of freon, and that weekend it had been in the 80s with no recent freon charge.

Can I tell you that cars really don't matter to me? Really. Lexus - don't care. BMW - whatever. I want safe, economic, and durable. I didn't even know what a Toyota Avalon was when Jeremy asked me if I would drive one (I'm pretty adamant about something small and highly maneuverable - I can parallel park the Protege ANYwhere). I know the Corolla and Camry. Well, when I saw the car with its leather seats, DVD players in back for the kids, and sunroof, I got uncomfortable. I shouldn't be driving a car like this. Too nice. I guess as a "pastor's wife," I feel like people are watching to see how I spend my money. Too nice a car might make us start looking like some of those TV evangelists that live too large. You're right; I'll never please everyone, but those are the thoughts I have.

I did love the way it drove - smooth, quiet, turns quite sharply. Though I don't think I'll be parallel parking for a while! We took the car on Sunday, and I think by Wednesday I let myself get excited about it. I spent the first two days worried - what will others think? should we really spend the money, I mean, my car is still running? too nice? On Thursday I even took the liberty of driving with the sunroof open and started using the radio and AC controls on the steering wheel. I LOVE it. We returned the car Thursday night. Once we have the check in hand, we'll go and make the exchange. They offered to let us go ahead and take it, but that didn't feel right.

So, in the last week, God's messed with me a little. The car is such a gift from Him. He watches out for us all the time (not just material things - though He's blessed us with an amazing grill, an amazing camera - friendships - my job share - my children - their health - on and on). Gifts from Him are all around me, everywhere I look. This most recent blessing has really done a number on me. I've been very open that I've been searching for what God wants me to do. I've been open that I haven't really surrendered it ALL. God has put me in such a place of humility and praise, that, can I tell you, I will do w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r He calls me to do. Full, total surrender.

I think the change has made my husband more attracted to me. We've talked more about giving to the church building, and I'm not even flinching at anything. We've talked more about what God might be calling me to do in a ministry sense, and I'm not flinching at anything. It's also VERY weird because I'm not even flinching on the inside. I just want to give back to God. I want to show Him how very, very grateful I am. How very much I see Him as the Lord of my life. It feels really good.

I challenge you - look to see where God is blessing you in your life. How can you show God that you are grateful? What can you do for Him?

Humility & Greed

God really knows how to do a number on me. I don't like to think of myself as greedy; let me explain & justify myself at the outset. I don't have to have designer handbags (or anything designer, actually). I don't have to drive a fancy car. I don't have to have a lot of things that I think of greedy people having (housekeepers, lawn boys, pools, the biggest or nicest house, so forth - and if you have these, don't think that I think you're greedy; unless you have ALL of those things, then you might be on my list - HA). I do, however, enjoy having money to spend at my leisure. For instance, Sonic if I want it (and I'm trying to quit for both health and finance), a new camera/photography gadget that's not in the budget (and they never are, and they're never cheap, either), a random shirt, some new Bath & Body, you get the idea. I know that greed is really deeper than how much an item costs, though.

For instance, as a child I remember a rough time for my parents and seeing dad put $50 in the offering plate. I remember asking him why he did that when we needed that money. He taught me an important lesson that day, you always give to God first because it's the right thing to do. I remember our first few months of marriage when Jeremy and I began to tithe. We made $1250 a month. I remember thinking, are you kidding me? But we did. It's been a discipline we've followed our whole marriage. Last month Jeremy asked me to start thinking about how much to contribute to the building campaign that's coming up at StoneWater. I named a figure (a very conservative figure) and he named a figure (a very liberal figure). I remember being ticked off that he would even think of that per month for 3 years. It simply was not possible. I mean, we know some great givers, amazing givers, and I am always in awe that God has blessed them to give the way they do; I can't conceive of it. But, I guess I've never thought of the sacrifice they are giving, and how my sacrifice can and should correlate to theirs.

Okay, so one of the things on our list for the last two years has been to purchase a newer car. I LOVE my car - a 1997 Mazda Protege that has 153, 279 miles on it as we speak. Dad & Mom bought it for me as a graduation/wedding present, and I know it was a sacrifice/huge gift on their part. I love that car. Yes, it has it's quirks/loud noises/issues, but it runs well, and I'm emotionally attached. But, this year is the year we've said we will buy a car. We'll pay cash. We've been saving. We have no idea what we want. I've had a feeling for a month that it will be soon despite our real plans for mid to late in the year. I've listened to the ads on the radio for that "great deal," but I haven't felt the need to test drive and really don't know what I want. Okay - here's what I want - good gas mileage, safe, affordable, last a long time (like another 10 years, 150,000 miles). Otherwise, I'm good - standard or automatic, power all or power nothing, some neutral color, but, whatever.

Here's where I start crying, again. Jeremy shared our car plan with a friend of ours. Friend of ours today says they have an extra car they need to sale - at a good price. So, tonight we went to check it out. First, I'm always blown away at the way people take care of us. I don't know why I ever ask questions of God, but sometimes I do, then something like this comes along, and He sets me back in my place. This is a terrific car at a terrific price. As a matter of fact, this car will allow us to give closer to or at Jeremy's figure for the building campaign. I couldn't help but almost weep when I drove it tonight - a gift from my Father, yet again. When I get wrapped up in what I am able do and what I will have to give up for His kingdom, God steps in, slaps my hand a little, and blesses me in the process. Talk about humility.

We're still praying about it, but good grief is He giving me a lesson right in the middle of it all!

Welcome, 2009!

Jeremy and I had a great date on New Year's Eve, and on our date, we talked about how God blessed us in 2008, people He used, and our goals for 2009. Since I just mailed out our Happy New Year's cards today, with a slip inside about our blog, I thought it would be fitting to share those things for anyone who cares to do a "quick" catch up on our year.

StoneWater:
Jeremy can't give me a good count of baptisms, but seems to think the number is in the 30s or 40s. The rise of leaders and those whole lives have changed because they've allowed God to take control has been amazing. Plus, God blessed the church with an amazing piece of property for a church building. It was a great experience that was also quick. Compared to some of the other places we had been watching, it was so clearly God's will that we all just had to smile. In addition, we were blessed enough that SW was able to pay cash for the property. The existing house has been converted into permanent offices that will be ready around the end of the month! This continues to be an exciting step. I, of course, am overwhelmed and worried, but I know that God will do amazing things. My faith has greatly increased as a result of StoneWater and what I've seen God do in 3 1/2 short years.

Jeremy: (this will be brief)
His mostly focused on the church - the blessings of new staff, new land, new believers. Luckily, he included the family, too (ha)! He turned 35 this year, and I crack up about it. He's wanted to be 35 for as long as I can remember. Really. It's something about "35" that sounds, to him, more distinguished. I've seen him grow in wisdom and maturity in the last few years, so I guess it's fitting for him. I haven't asked him permission to share the people or his goals for the blog world, so I'll wait on that for now.

Misti:
My biggest praise is my job share! God amazed me with that one, especially since everyone around me kept trying to carefully caution me that it wasn't going to work out. It was a long, drawn out wait (I submitted the proposal in October 07, and we didn't hear anything until May 08). I just had such a peace about waiting (that's NOT the norm, waiting is not my specialty) and such a confidence. I love the time it gives me for my family. I am also realizing I don't want to be nor do I have to be Superwoman. I think realizing I don't WANT to be has been the biggest release I've had in a long, long time.

My love for running has returned after a little bout with tendinitis in my knee. I think not being able to run made me realize how much I really loved it and needed it just as much mentally as I did physically. Also, I have learned so much with my camera and about photography as a whole. It's so much more than having a good camera and snapping away! I had no idea a year ago, but I love it all the more. And, I've really come a long way considering a year ago I was still taking pictures that were completely black! Ha! Amy Coffey - thank you for all you've shared with me i the photography realm and in friendship.

God gave me some great influences this year (and I know I'll forget someone, so I hesitate to name any names) - my accountability partners through 2008, thanks for listening, encouraging, and holding me accountable. If you don't have an accountability partner - you should get one! Not only do they listen, but I know that what I share will come back, so I better take action. Thank you, ladies. My co-workers: thanks for holding me to what I need to do, encouraging, and pushing me to become better. Beth Moore, Andy Stanley, and Perry Noble - you don't know I exist, but thank you for listening to and following God because you've shaped me this year. Amy McKay - in fitness, life balance, and encouragement. Amy finds and shares the positive side in everything.

On that note, this year my biggest goal is to be still and surrender to God. It hit me when Jeremy was speaking Sunday that I really haven't surrendered my whole self to Him. Most areas, yes; all, no. I fully believe that's why I'm still in the "in between" land of "what I am supposed to do?" Andy Stanley had a great series "Discovering God's Will for your Life," and he included that most people want God to tell them what He wants so we can say yes, but God wants us to say yes even before we know. We all know that I'm not comfortable without a plan. I know where I am (outside of full surrender) and I'm still dragging my feet, but I have the knowledge, so this year I'll take the plunge. I don't even know what that means, so we'll find out!

Other goals:

1. Run a marathon. It probably won't be San Diego, but I will run one. Either April or May.
2. Learn more about lighting in photography & work on my composition.
3. I will be a more positive person and focus on other people more.
4. I will spend more time with my family, specifically my children and show them gentleness, love, and fun.

Jenna: (I'll speak for her)
My baby girl started school. She lost her two front teeth. She's a delightful little girl, and I love watching her grow. God has blessed her with health and lots of love. Her favorite things at this point are snuggles with any of us, Maggie the cat, school, and cartoons. She is kind and compassionate, and I just can't get enough of her.

Hudson:
Hudson eagerly learns from his sister, and has sided with Dad this year. Until now, he's been Momma's boy, but I lost him in 2008. I know it's a part of growing up, so it's neat to watch him walk in Jeremy's footsteps. His favorite things are wrestling, football, and hunting. He is a smart little boy, and he's all boy. I love the little moments I do get for snuggling, and, too, can't get enough.

Other family:
Dad & Mom Fulton finished building & moved to the country. I said goodbye to my childhood home.
Michael (my brother) finished his second tour in Iraq and came home safely! He is now "stationed" at A&M, married to sweet Ashley. It feels so good to have him home!
Dad & Mom White: Melba continued to work on her crafts and Bob continues to doctor the animals.
Joey & Lisa moved to California. They have planted one church and just started the second. Caden is 9, Carson in 6 and is in full remission from his leukemia, and Corban is 3.
Jacki is engaged to be married to Miles in June. She's teaching 1st grade.

If you're new to the blog - glance around & you'll find plenty of pictures. If you come back periodically, you'll see plenty of pictures and know lots (possibly more than you want) about what's up with the White family.

Cynthia's Maternity

One of the things I've always thought I would love to shoot is maternity. I LOVE newborns, and, as I suspected, I LOVE maternity. I only have 150 pictures to get through, but here are a few to start with. (Sorry, Cynthia, nothing new yet - sitting at the computer is a nemesis for my back.)

I downloaded the sample Totally Rad Actions for processing, and I LOVE them. I love them so much I've been debating since yesterday, do I just go ahead and buy one of the packs? I used to think that was cheating, but it saves SO much time. And, really I love the photography side so much more than the processing side...so...well, maybe later today.

I have some great shots...later today, more, I PROMISE, Cynthia!

Hunting Trip - caution, dead animals appearing

First of all, Jeremy loves to hunt. He's not a sport hunter; we eat what he hunts. I always feel I need to say that because I am an animal lover. I can't tell you how many mornings I've spent praying for the animals - don't come out, keep them safe. For YEARS Jeremy would either not see a deer or would miss when he went hunting. However, since the meat is good and good for us, I've changed my ways a little. This week, after church, Jeremy & Hudson, Joey, Caden & Carson, and Bob all went on a White boy hunting trip. They loaded up and drove to Old Glory to hunt, spend the night, and hunt the next morning.

Joel had a new stand from last time we were out (Thanksgiving). Jeremy said this one was amazing. It had a bed in it. And, notice the window to the left of the bed so you can "sleep" and watch for deer at the same time. Ha! I think that's where I'll "hunt" with book and camera! So, Jer took the point & shoot camera (that is 6 years old, and upon inspection of the pictures that came home and lens, was seriously smeared with some gooey fingerprints). He brought these pictures home for me to "fix." Sometimes you can't fix much, but, believe it or not, these are much improved over what came out of the camera!

Hudson relaxing with his orange:

As you can see below, Jeremy got a buck. He feels bad about this because he wasn't aware they had a 1 buck limit, and he could/should have allowed his brother to get a buck. (Especially since Joey had to pay for an out of state hunting license. Yep, he's an official, card carrying Californian now - his driver's license proves it.) However, casting aside guilt as men are able to do, he is quite of proud of his deer. Evidently this is a big one.

So, here is Hudson posing with the deer (remember, this is the old camera with a really dirty lens).

So, Jeremy brings the head from the last deer and this deer home. He & Bob have decided to do a European mount (don't ask, I don't really know or want to know), so we have the WHOLE head. I find this delightful (that is FULL of sarcasm - it's disgusting). Jeremy decided to place them in the back flowerbed for nature to take it's course. He's hoping that some of the vermin from this summer will come out of the shed and do their job. Of course, we radically poisoned them, so I think they're all gone. Nevertheless, when you look out my back window, this is what you see. Delightful (I don't open the back blinds any more).

I do find it funny that Howdy the Terrible is HORRIFIED of deer. We noticed this a few years ago when Jer got a deer and then Howdy would not load into the back of the truck. Terror and fear overtook him. Then, a couple of weeks ago after Jer had been hunting and we had taken the deer to be processed. When Howdy & left to run the next morning he FREAKED out. I did too, at first because I thought doom was imminent; then I remembered the deer had been in the truck. I mean, Howdy's hair stands on end, he tries to run, and you can tell he is SCARED. The picture below is the closest he's come. He barked and carried on, but I think it was all for show because you could tell he was really scared the whole time! And this is the dog I run with each morning to keep me safe. HA!

Maggie Gets "Fixed"

It seems Maggie the kitten was of age to "get fixed." So, to start our Christmas break, we shuttled her over to Stephenville to see Pawpaw, a.k.a. Dr. White. Not only did the kids get to take her in, they got to watch the whole surgery. Jenna's most common comment was "disgusting." She might make a vet, though, if we can figure out a way around all her animal allergies. Hudson was definitely intrigued. They even each got to give Maggie a shot. Maggie was asleep, of course. Pawpaw says not everyone gets to go back and watch, but it was good for the kids to see such a real science project!

Christmas Eve

I just had to post a few random thoughts as I wait for my opportunity to play Santa. I figure one day this will be one of the journals that I give the kids, so they need to know of the cute stuff they did, and so do you.

Today, of course, was Christmas Eve. I had not wrapped the kids' gifts until last night, and placed them under the tree. You may think I'm a procrastinator or Scrooge, but our kids really haven't wanted anything this year. So, I knew the minute it was under the tree, they would figure it out. They each asked for two things: Jen = a BB gun (yes, you read correctly; she was coached by her dad) and a stuffed animal, H = an electric guitar (help us all) and a stuffed animal. I haven't decided if we a) have provided them a very content life so all their desires are met b) have coached them on the materialism and "tricks" of commercials on Saturday morning so that they're scared for life to want anything or Mom and Dad will say "they're tricking you into wanting it" or c) they heinously spoiled already. I think it's a combo of a & b, personally. Hope they don't need therapy over b.

Anyway, they immediately honed in on the new presents under the tree. This is remarkable considering I arranged them to blend in with the ones already there. Jenna immediately picked up a box, found a J on it, and said, "Here's my BB gun." Hudson dug, held one up, "Here's my guitar." Stinkers. Then, we moved to Hudson eager to open his one gift. We started that tradition last year - and they chose their gift. Some how they instinctively chose the "big" gift last year. So, this year Jeremy & I chose the gift. We chose their boots so that they could wear them to church. I'd love to say I took a picture of us all dressed up - Jen & I coordinating and Jer & H matching, but I just realized I didn't as I typed this. Bad photographer mom. Shame on me.

We went to church, and then we had both sides of the family over for hamburgers. It was terrific (thank you all for coming, we LOVED it). Then, we did our annual Christmas light tour. We've been tracking Santa all night, and since he was in the US, we had kids eager to get into bed. (We really don't do the Santa thing much, but the web site was pretty cool.) As we tucked the kids into bed, we told them that we needed to shut their doors so Santa didn't wake them. As I told Jenna, "If you hear any noises, you need to stay in your room because you don't want to scare Santa." Very seriously she said, "But what if Santa scares me?" I had to laugh - it was so cute.

I think they're already both asleep. We've not had a nap all week, and that is VERY unlike the White family. Santa and Mrs. Clause are ready for a long winter's nap! We also emphasized how important it was to stay in bed until the sun was up, and up bright, before they got out of bed. After all, if it's still dark, it might be night, and they might scare Santa away! We'll see if it works, but I predict a 6:00 rising. :)

In other news, Jeremy had the best gift last night. His friend, Curtis, who had an accident a few months ago and was not expected to live, called him and left a message on our answering machine. Jeremy returned the call and was able to talk to Curtis for about 20 minutes. Curtis has moved back to Texas, and Jer will get to visit with him on Friday. Curtis is a walking miracle. There is a link to his story on the right of the page - Curtis News - check it out.

Merry Christmas!

Jeremy is AMAZING

Yesterday, Dec. 20, was our wedding anniversary. Eleven years of bliss, and I really mean bliss. Yes, we've had our share of arguments, unhappy times, and frustration, but I can easily say that bliss is the best word to describe our 11 years together so far.

So, Friday we dropped off the kids at my parents and went to spend the night in Fort Worth. We had a great drive from Stephenville to Fort Worth. I don't know if you're like us, but we really like road trips together, just the two of us - no kids in the back. We can talk unlike any other time. I'm not distracted by tasks around me; I'm just focused on him and the conversation. We got to Fort Worth and made a quick trip to the mall. Really quick trip, and we spent a whole $16. (I've been looking for this bag that one of my students have. Cute, practical, anyway, no luck & same story at other stores; but the man was a SPORT to look with me.) Then, we went to P.F. Chang's for dinner. Delightful, as always. We decided to check into our hotel and get settled and then go out for dessert. He gave me my present, and we don't do anniversary presents (or Christmas for that matter), so it was a surprise.

Some of you remember the message a few weeks ago when he shared a tiff we had over affection. Basically, I wanted more while he thought he was doing great. That night, he made a commitment to himself to deliberately show me affection for the next 40 days. Very "Love Dare" except that we hadn't seen the movie or heard of that yet - it was all on his own. He kept a journal of what he was doing and my reaction. Then, he decided to keep going all the way to our anniversary. He gave me the journal as my anniversary gift. It is the most thoughtful thing. Amazing.

Somewhere in here my back went KAPUT. I've had some problems for the last month. Like, when I bend over to put on socks, shoes, pants, so forth, the muscles on the right side of my back knot up, and I can't do anything. I can't sit in the bathtub :(. It hurts to sit at the computer - big :(. It hurts to bend down and take pictures...you get the idea. But, something happened where it was no longer just when I bent over. My back was SCREAMING no matter what I did.

If you know me, you know that not doing anything doesn't really work for me. Like, at all. I've often told Jer that if I'm in an accident and odds are I'll be paralyzed, just let me go. It's selfish, I know that, but I can't imagine being immobilized. I tried to shake it off, and we went to dessert. I'm also not very good at lying, so for every "how are you?" he could tell I was lying. I made it through the night with very little sleep, and I can sleep through almost anything. I've had very, very few sleepless nights in my life.

Dec. 20 - our official anniversary, and other than child birth, I've never hurt so badly in my life. I was literally using my child birth class breathing to move around, lay still, NOTHING helped. We went to lunch at Pappasitos, our other favorite, and then to a movie. The whole time I'm in so much pain that I am becoming physically sick to my stomach. I was defeated after the movie, and on the way home I admitted it. So, we got home around 3:00, and I went straight to bed - ice pack on my back, downed more ibuprofen than I should have. Not only was I physically miserable, I was an emotional wreck because THIS IS OUR ANNIVERSARY!

I woke up at 5:00. I felt better. My dear, amazing husband had been working for me the whole time. The house was clean - really cleaned: dishwasher unloaded & reloaded, counter tops clean, kitchen swept, living room vacuumed; he went to get movies (our another favorite past time). Talk about self sacrifice & knowing my love language. We cuddled up on the couch and watched two movies (did I mention the kids were at his parents' for Saturday night?). He offered to rub my back, but it really hurts so badly that I don't even want anyone to touch it. (Although, tomorrow I'll be seeing a massage therapist and a chiropractor.)

Poor guy - I'm sure he had many other ideas for our anniversary than cleaning house and waiting on me hand and foot (the guy had to put my pants, socks, and shoes on for me), but he did it with such love and affection that you would never know he was disappointed. And, really, he has to be. I have the most amazing husband in the world! I love you, Jer.

Pondering

I ponder, lots. Some stuff that is serious, some that's frivilous, some that isn't worth pondering. One of my ponderings lately has been "what is my role at StoneWater?" When we started the church I was whatever I needed to be. That included: financial secretary, children's co-director, seamstress, secretary to the pastor, children's worker for whatever area needed it, and some other stuff. Not that I was bothered by any of those things, but none of them felt like "my role" if you know what I mean.

So, once the church grew and I was able to hand off some of my "roles," I did. But, now, I often feel that I'm not "pulling my weight" around the ministry. But, I don't know where I feel called to be. In the past I've wanted to teach something, but I don't at the same time. I don't know what - maybe something on being a wife or mothering - though I feel far from adequate enough to do either of those. I could lead a book study, but I've tried that in the past and was far from stellar. I get too many things going, and one always falls by the wayside. I don't want to do that, but, simply, it's tough to keep up with Jeremy, kids, work, house, etc. Isn't hard for everyone though?

The idea has been expressed that the women of StoneWater would like to "see" and "know" me more. I'm okay with that, I think. I guess it's really part of my struggle and pondering. First, I totally love to be the center of attention in my classroom. I LOVE to entertain my students as I teach them. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I can be funny, entertaining, and teach them all at the same time (at least I think so, anyway). I even like to be the center of attention among my co-workers: recognition for a job well done, recognition as a leader, so forth. I don't feel there is anything wrong with any of that. However, when it comes to church...well, I feel like I'm being prideful if I am the center of attention. I mean, I went to school - undergrad & grad - for education, and I know what I'm doing (mostly). But "church stuff" and "spiritual matters," I'm not really trained for. I am TERRIBLE at remembering names and even faces out of context. I definitely want to remain humble because we've all seen what happens to the proud and all the warnings about pride in the Bible. Am I hiding behind that?

Is that it? If so, is my humility really an act of pride? Am I hiding in my insecurity and calling it humility when it's not? How do I step up my role and WHAT is that exactly?

Gingerbread Houses - Failure & Success

In the spirit of the season, I decided to make gingerbread houses Sunday. Well, if you've ever read the ingredients on one of those packages (and why would you?), you'll notice milk and egg ingredients. Sure, we weren't going to eat them, but we just don't take chances with our food allergies. So, I made sugar cookie dough (Jenna didn't like gingerbread) and my own template. It all went together pretty well, though it looked a little weak structurally...

Sure enough...it fell. But, then they got to eat it!

Never one to give up, yesterday I made another attempt. This time I made the house(s) smaller and walls thicker. So, since I scaled it down and made two. I also cooked the walls until they were hard as a rock.

And, two happy kids

PS: Jenna is quite upset about pictures of her in a spiderman costume being on my web site. But, I tried to get her to take it off (and to get H to put clothes on - do you remember how cold it was?), and she didn't want to. Tough.

All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth

We took a fantastic trip to Old Glory, Texas, over Thanksgiving.

Jenna's other front tooth had been wiggling since before she lost the other one, and at this point it was just hanging on by a thread. She kept wiggling, twisting, and playing with it. Finally, it came out! So, now we're singing the song all around the house!

Our trip was amazingly relaxing. Jeremy did a lot of hunting; he killed 5 hogs, a bobcat, a doe, and scared a coyote. He saw a great 8 point the first night, but didn't take it since it was the first night and he was holding out for something bigger.

We had lots of time to relax, watch old cartoons like Popeye, Smurfs, Jetsons, and Tom and Jerry; we took a great drive through the country and the kids got to pick some cotton; we stopped and skipped rocks; we slept in!

And, there was a Mi Familia (same original family as the one in Granbury) in a neighboring town, so I got some chicken enchiladas and guacamole chalupa! Delightful!

And on the way home, there was this strange creation...

"All Hail the Queen"

I tell you, I have FINALLY gotten my AP classes trained. AP students, in case you don't know, are Advanced Placement students who will take a test at the end of the course to try to receive college credit. Well, they are usually quite intelligent, somewhat lazy, and very full of themselves.

Many times when I have given a quiz, half the class will want to "debate" a.k.a. whine about why we shouldn't have the quiz or why another answer should also be correct. "But I didn't know about it," or "If you really think about it, C works, too," and the "didn't know" one always gets me bristled up because I give them a calendar with a FULL SIX weeks of plans with quizzes indicated AND write it on the board everyday for a week before the quiz. I mean, really, if you're old enough to be responsible enough to drive, look at your calendar. As a friend says, "Those who can read, should."

A few weeks ago, tired of the situation, I made an announcement that just came to me in a flash of brilliance. "Listen ladies and gentlemen. This is not a democracy. It is a monarchy, and I am the queen." This was especially clever considering our stems for the week included stems in democracy and monarchy.

Today a "debate" was beginning to break out when one of the students told another, "it's not a democracy, so shut up." (Kid #1 is ALWAYS whining/debating, and Kid #2 and most of the class are sick of it.). I corrected the "shut up," and smiled. Until, another couple of students said, "Why don't we just call it a dictatorship?" Then, I launched into a lecture of denotation vs. connotation for dictator and monarch or "queen" as I prefer.

Now, I'm trying to get them to bow and say, "All Hail Queen White!" I'll let you know when that happens, but be watching for pigs to fly...